


Time to take off the Mask

by merlins_sister



Category: NCIS
Genre: F/M, Romance, au coda
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-09-24
Updated: 2011-09-24
Packaged: 2017-10-24 00:31:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/256851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merlins_sister/pseuds/merlins_sister
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Why was Ziva so agitated when the team were waiting for the results of the radiation checks on the car in Masquerade? Ziva reflects on the changes in her relationship with McGee, and the future it may hold. AU coda.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers for Masquerade. General Season 6 and 7 warning.

Tony’s self interested rants were difficult at the best of times. Right now...

Right now she desperately needed the man next to her to reach out and hold her hand. But McGee was quite sensibly keeping his hands firmly in the pockets of his coveralls. If he reached out now then everything they were doing, everything they were feeling, trying to work out, would become public. And they weren’t ready for that.

Not that this would be a choice if what she feared was correct. Though she wasn’t sure if feared was the correct choice of word any more. In the light of the radiation threat from the explosion, the thought that she might be pregnant with Tim’s child had changed from something that terrified her into something that she feared she might lose before she could embrace.

Of course, they should not be sleeping together, should never have crossed that line. But McGee, sweet, endearing McGee, had wormed his way deeper into her affections than either of them had ever thought could be possible. In all that was the mess with her father, Mossad and even her relationship with Tony, Tim had remained constant. Understanding, willing to believe the best in her, willing to listen rather than tell her what to do. She had found a value in those things above many others.

He did not believe her, she knew, when she said that she found him more handsome than Tony. Did not appreciate how he had grown, blossomed in the confidence that came from doing his job well, never mind the success his book had experienced. He was now everything he had been, but more.

He had been the one to give her a new necklace, an innocent gesture of a subconscious bond. He had come around one evening, a tale of how he had seen this necklace when getting his watch repaired. How he had thought of her and the pleasure it might give her, his words becoming faster at that point in a fear that he might upset her by trying to replace a family gift.

And that is what this gift should have been, a gift from another family. But to her it had been different, something shifting in her at his fingers brushing across her neck fastening the new necklace in place. She had as gently brushed her lips across his as a thank you, before they had returned to his to linger.

When their lips had parted he had taken a very definite step back.

“We shouldn’t be doing this,” he had said.

“I know. The rules... official and Gibbs...” She had smiled. “It just felt right.” She swallowed her disappointment at his reaction. “I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to apologise for,” he replied, shifting awkwardly in front of her. “It’s me... I think you may be kissing me under false pretences.”

This had confused her as she did not know about the guilt that was gnawing inside of him then.

“When you were upset in Tel Aviv you phoned me, said I was the only man you could trust.”

“McGee... that is all in the past.”

“It isn’t, not for me. I couldn’t tell you then... you don’t know what I did in that time,” he had persisted. “And I should have said something after we found you, but I didn’t think you needed to know, and I was just so happy to have you back.” His words had speeded up as he rushed to get out his story. “I called you on a couple of things to Tony, but he wouldn’t let me do anything about it. He took it on himself, and got into that whole mess with you, but I wasn’t innocent. I had suspicions too.”

“You thought I could betray you?”

He had licked his lips nervously, confessing, “I thought you could have been backed into a situation where there was no good choice... like Lee.”

He had managed to lift his eyes to hers by then, pools of anxiety and guilt. She had considered her reaction to this information, feeling that she should be angry with him. But she wasn’t. Instead she felt a surge of feelings for the man in front of her, reassured despite his anxiety that her trust hadn’t been misplaced. McGee would never take advantage of her, and, although he thought he had, he would never betray her.

She had lowered her head and tried to force herself to be rational about this. But the closeness to McGee, feeling the heat from his body, hearing the slight hitch in his breath as she stepped closer to him, was making it hard to think rationally. Finally, taking her eyes back to his, she had managed, “I forgive you for thinking I might be in trouble, and talking to Tony about that. I would have done the same in your place I think.” She had watched a wash of uncertain relief go across his face. “You were not to blame for any of that mess. But you are to blame for what has happened tonight.” She had moved quickly on to the end of explanation at the look of worry on his face. “You should have not taken such good care of me, shown me how it is possible to be valued and cared for as me, not as piece in a political chess game.” Now the uncertain smile was back. “In short you should not have made me want to kiss you. Not unless you wanted to kiss me in return.”

He had dropped his head. “Ziva...”

His eyes were the darkest blue when she saw them again, her attention only taken from them by McGee winding his arm around her waist. He pulled her closer. “I have wanted to kiss you for a long time,” he said softly. “I just never thought you would feel the same way.”

“You should have had faith, Tim,” she had replied as gently, her fingers brushing down the side of his face.

With that his lips had met hers, their entwined bodies finding her bed soon after, as they had many times since then.

They had always taken precautions, had always been careful, but maybe not careful enough. Or maybe fate was forcing their hand. Either way when Tony implied that any child of Tim’s would be smart but not as handsome as their father she felt an unexpected protective rage for both their possible child and her lover. She stalked away from Tony before she hit him, relieved to see Gibbs arriving in the distance. Once they had got this whole disaster dealt with she was going to have to tell Tim the situation, whatever the fallout was. And hope her faith in him was rewarded again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the danger increases, Ziva finds the personal comes even more to the fore.

“My period is late.”

Ziva had to grip the side of her seat as McGee hit the brakes at her statement, his hands suddenly taut around the steering wheel. She had no idea why she had chosen now to tell him. The news from the dentist that enough cobalt had been stolen to make five dirty bombs should be her priority. But all it had done was to bring her back to the personal, her need to tell her lover the situation becoming uncontrollable.

She glanced at McGee but he didn’t turn to look at her. Ziva felt a sinking feeling in her stomach at his response, turning her head so she looked firmly towards the front.

“Since Somalia my menstrual cycle has been a little erratic,” she said as calmly as she could. “So it is probably nothing.” She paused before continuing, “But it has never been this late. And today’s events... “

She broke off her attempts to explain as McGee swung the car away from the dentist’s parking lot in a manoeuvre that he would have chided her for. He pulled the car in to a secluded spot, throwing the parking brake on in the briefest of moves, before leaning over and pulling her to him for a deep kiss.

Ziva sank into the kiss, the reassurance she had craved all day pouring into her body at the contact. When Tim finally pulled back his hands stayed cradling her face.

“Are you okay?”

Ziva laughed slightly at his reaction, his eyes full in worry. “I am fine, Tim. My period is just late.” She sighed. “Today’s events... I just needed you to know. I am not sure exactly why I couldn’t wait when I have no proof that I am pregnant. But...” She looked down at her hands, relaxing when Tim’s hands moved to cover them.

“I am glad you told me.”

She looked up at him. “Really?” She lowered her eyes again. “I have not exactly picked a good time.”

“Considering what we are dealing with, I think you have picked the perfect time.” There was a considered pause. “We need to tell Gibbs.”

Ziva’s head shot up. “No. We agreed, Tim.”

“We agreed to not go public when it was just a case of not wanting to affect the team. This is bigger than that,” he replied. When she didn’t respond McGee continued, “The radiation risk...”

“Is minimal,” Ziva responded firmly.

“But it is there, and a pregnant woman is far more vulnerable to its effects.” McGee’s voice showed the strain of trying to remain reasonable.

Ziva pulled away from him. “We tell Gibbs and I am not pregnant then we risk breaking the team before we are ready to deal with the fallout.”

“And if you are pregnant, become exposed, you risk losing this child, and possibly the chance to have any more.” Tim’s voice was becoming raised.

“Don’t you think I know that?” Ziva replied, her volume matching his. “We are still not ready for them to know.”

“Then we will just have to get ready!”

Ziva twisted herself back to the front, arms crossing her body.

“What’s more important, Ziva, huh? Our possible child or the team?”

Ziva remained silent, unable to argue with McGee’s question. She wasn’t ready for any of this. She had just started to feel like she was recovering, had a chance to make a life away from her father. Now it felt like it was all getting out of control again.

She expected Tim to continue his argument but he was prevented from doing so by his cell phone ringing. As she listened to him explain to Tony what they had found out she tried to force herself to be rational about the situation. But that seemed to be the problem recently, rational thinking didn’t work, driven as she was by her emotions in a way she had never been before.

Tim finished the call. He sounded subdued as he said, “We need to get back. Apparently there is computerey stuff for me to do.” He sighed, a sound that made Ziva’s heart contract. She glanced at him, hating herself for putting him in this position of loyalty to her and her wishes, or to the team, or to his instincts about the right thing to do.

He started the car up and pulled out onto the road.

“I will try and keep out of the way,” she said. “If we go out to find the bomb.”

He glanced at her. “You may not have a choice. That’s how our job is.”

“I know. But I will try.” She shifted in her seat. “If I have no other choice I will tell Gibbs.”

She felt his eyes on her again but he didn’t reply. Instead his hand came over and wrapped itself over hers. She held on tightly for a moment before releasing it, slightly giddy with relief that whatever else they faced that day they were facing it together, on all fronts.


End file.
